Since Oct. 7, Ayelet Svatitzky has been living in an emotional whirlwind. She is mourning one brother who was killed in Hamas’s terrorist attack. She is campaigning for the release of another being held hostage in Gaza. And she is caring for her mother, who was set free in November during a short-lived cease-fire.
“I feel helpless, because our lives and the lives of our loved ones are dependent on so many things that are out of our reach,” Ms. Svatitzky said in a phone interview, adding that “every day that goes by is a danger to the hostages.”
Nearly three months after the attack that left Israel reeling, the families of many hostages are still being whipsawed by events out of their control, trying to balance feelings of helplessness and despair with the need to continue pressuring the Israeli government and the public to help secure the release of the more than 125 people still being held in Gaza.
The killing of Saleh al-Arouri this week appeared to add another complication to negotiations for a hostage release. Some of the hostage families met with Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu on Tuesday, at roughly the same time that word emerged of an explosion in Beirut that killed the high-ranking Hamas leader.
Matty Dancyg, whose father, Alex Dancyg, 75, was kidnapped in the Oct. 7 attack, was at the meeting with Mr. Netanyahu. He said that while he left feeling that the hostages were a priority for the government, he still had a feeling of being at a “dead end, because it looks like the hostage deal isn’t going anywhere.”
In interviews, many of the families declined to discuss the possible impact of Mr. al-Arouri’s death. Israeli government officials have said throughout the war that they are simultaneously focused on eliminating Hamas and on returning the hostages, and that continued military pressure on Hamas could bring it to the negotiating table.
Ronen Tzur, the head of the Hostage and Missing Families Forum, which represents families with relatives kidnapped in Gaza, said his group continued to work closely with the government to try to push negotiation efforts forward.
On Wednesday, the group’s Tel Aviv headquarters was a hub of activity as hostage family members and volunteers continued with strategic meetings, press interviews and public organizing. The hostage families represent a range of background and political viewpoints, and the forum has avoided a strong political stance.
Moshe Emilio Lavi, whose brother-in-law, Omri Miran, remains in Hamas captivity, and was at the headquarters, said he believed it was the government’s immediate goal to get the hostages released, “but it’s our responsibility to keep that in the public discourse.”
He added that “after the war, we can hold them accountable if we believe that they did not do enough to bring them home.”
Malki Shem Tov, whose 21-year-old son Omer was kidnapped from the Nova festival, said the office had become his home over the last few months. His wife, Shelly, and their other son, Amit, circled the headquarters as well.
“We are very optimistic, we believe — and hopefully it will be soon,” Mr. Shem Tov said, adding, “I want Omer back home. I want very much to hug him and that the family will be complete again.”
As time passes, some remain worried their loved ones will be left behind — but say they have to stay strong at this point.
“I think what we are doing at the moment is pushing aside the processing and healing part of it because we simply can’t afford it at the moment,” said Mr. Emilio Lavi, who added, “We are laser-focused on bringing our loved ones home.”