In 2023, the search for true love has once again taken center stage on social media. Singles and couples are turning to their favorite artists, Netflix documentaries, and smartphone apps for inspiration to determine if their current partner is truly “the one.” They are sharing their experiences online, posting about their relationships and dating adventures. While some of these online dating trends are based on old theories of romance and chivalry, others are entirely new and peculiar. In this article, we explore some of these trends and ask experts if they could actually be helpful in finding a soulmate.
One trend that emerged in December is the concept of “dating unwrapped.” Similar to Spotify’s “wrapped” feature, where the app reveals users’ most listened-to artists and songs of the year, people are now sharing their dating experiences in the form of PowerPoint presentations. These presentations include details such as how they met their partner, the duration of the relationship, who ended it and how, and where their dates took place. This trend has gained popularity on TikTok, with the hashtag receiving 116.2 million posts. One of the most viewed presentations, titled “Tara’s dating wrapped,” shares the experiences of a woman who went on at least one date every month. She reveals that she was stood up twice by the same man and only liked three out of the 14 people she dated, including some individuals she had been involved with in previous years.
According to Professor Mark Coulson, a psychology professor at the University of West London, the end of the year offers an opportunity for reflection, which is psychologically beneficial. He explains that digital platforms, like the dating wrapped trend, provide a structured way for people to journal their experiences. Keeping a record of positive or traumatic experiences can have positive effects. However, sharing negative experiences with others may not be beneficial and is best kept private. On the other hand, consuming dating wrapped videos can help individuals feel a sense of normalization and realize that others have gone through similar experiences.
Clinical psychologist Dr. Venetia Leonidaki agrees with the positive aspects of the trend, stating that its “business-like nature” allows people to distance themselves emotionally from the anxieties and uncertainties of their love lives, giving them a sense of control.
Another trend that has gained popularity on TikTok is the “orange peel theory.” This theory is part of the broader concept of the “boyfriend test,” where individuals ask their partners to peel an orange to assess their willingness to show affection through acts of service. The theory is based on the concept of the five love languages, as described by author Gary Chapman in his book, where acts of service are considered one of the ways people express love. Some individuals film their partner’s response to the orange peel request, while others simply share the acts of service their partners do for them. This trend has garnered 54 million TikTok posts.
The “Beckham test” is another popular trend on TikTok, with 92.2 million posts. It originated from a scene in David Beckham’s Netflix documentary, where his wife Victoria plays a song and starts dancing in the kitchen. David joins in without being asked or gestured to do so. This test, similar to one where individuals point out a bird to their partners to gauge their enthusiasm, measures a partner’s willingness to share in their interests.
While these trends may provide some entertainment value, Professor Coulson believes they may not be helpful in finding a soulmate. He suggests that genuine connections and compatibility cannot be determined through these tests alone. However, he acknowledges that they may offer a sense of shared experiences and normalization for individuals going through similar dating challenges.